All posts tagged: family

From 9/11/14

When I was in fourth grade we had to choose a hero to write and draw about. I chose my Uncle Phil and Uncle Tommy, two New York City firefighters who were “humble, courageous, and taught kids fire safety”. I also drew a hilarious picture of them that made them look like Bert and Ernie. Lol!  I’ll never forget how much they both appreciated that tribute to them. I felt so much love from and for both of my uncles — and still do. Uncle Phil was truly an amazing man and inspiration for me, in fact he still inspires me from the other side During his life he chose to live life to the fullest. Family was number one on the priority list, and he was an exceptional dad without question. Some of my favorite memories with him are learning how to play soccer with him. Whenever I stepped on the field after September 11th I always felt his presence. Soccer was one of the places I could always just lose myself, just be, …

Breathe into and out of May Mental Health Awareness

This is a piece I’ve wanted to write for a long time, as it is written on my heart. And I’m trying to open up my heart (and not call my heart “stupid heart” which I just did mentally in my mind…it’s a process, people). Anyway, it’s fitting that May is Mental Health Month. What a good tie-in to the topic I’d like to discuss. First:   It is thought that I may be bipolar [jury’s out but I don’t feel I am]. Or have bipolar tendencies. Or maybe I have something called PMDD (severe PMS – lucky me). Or maybe my MTHFR gene is messed up (I call it the motherfucker gene…someday I’ll look up what it stands for if my insurance decides to cover that test). I tried for a really long time to pretend everything was OK when for months I’d had weeks of sleepless nights, and by sleepless I literally mean some weeks where I only slept maybe one or two hours each night. I tried my best to be brave, …

Living with insomnia

Insomnia is the main reason why I haven’t been blogging. I’m sure there are a couple of other posts where I apologize to the internet for being MIA and make excuses – but this is REALLY legitimate. I’m serious. Have you ever not gotten enough sleep or pulled an all-nighter? How does your body feel after one day of that? Typically it’s not great. Now try averaging an hour of sleep for a week straight, driving to work, and accomplishing regular everyday tasks (this is super dangerous, when you think about it). Well, that is what my life has been like at times the past several months. When your brain does not get enough sleep, the body shuts down too. Life becomes this downward spiral and your mind tunnel visions everything – your perception of reality and life is more skewed than normal. Check out this Wedmd synopsis of insomnia if you so desire. My symptoms have varied from withdrawal, lack of appetite, depression, anxiety, headaches, dizziness, and generally feeling horrible! I have been humbled …

Bittersweet NYC

I’m in NYC visiting my mom’s side of the family 🙂 it is wonderful to be here but it is also a tough time. Just driving the streets to my grandparents’ house was tough – a lot of our favorite places/restaurants were either washed away or demolished. Staten Island is like my second home – most of my family has lived here for close to 20 years now. I know the area really well, the best places for coldcuts, seafood, burgers, and whatever else. You name it and I’ve probably been there or know of it. Besides it being tough to be here due to the location, this is probably the last Christmas Eve celebration we will ever have at my grandparents. It’s also probably the last Christmas Eve we will ever spend as a whole family together. My grandpa has Alzheimers and it’s really quite bad. He’s so frail and sick and racked with disease. It’s tough to be here, but simultaneously so important to be here too. An amazing thing happened today with …

Emily Dickinson: The real woman in white

Musings on a visit to Emily Dickinson’s House Oh that frail woman in pale white of whom I knew so little about! While visiting a good friend of mine at UMass Amherst I knew I had to find out more about this mysterious creature whose poetry I had read albeit a few times but whose creativity, originality, and unusual work I was inspired by all the same. With the traffic in the area becoming thicker on a Sunday afternoon I had to take the “This was a Poet” tour as opposed to the other almost two-hour tour, yet I was not disappointed in the slightest. For seven dollars I got to hear the truth behind the fair woman, of whom we only know of physically by her only photograph. I learned a tremendous amount and am really grateful for the in-depth look into her life, her family, and her work. Emily Dickinson was born in 1830 in the house that was built by her grandfather; this is where she would live all her life. The …