All posts filed under: FAMILY

Those words

As a child open-eyed wide The world, so immediate intimate Shapes manifesting to sound Colors vibrant illuminate All is new and yet of old Voices share stories told Listen, listen, listening To the words that hold At a time, at a point A shift occurs and molecules Rearrange the voices heard Are speaking strange Shrieking through the fold Negative discords And these lies, these projections Are seen and reflected Taught through action Absorbed by sensitive souls Who hold onto those words For all they know Warped become their views Of life, love, themselves These happy hearts these Children of love for love Smile onward hurting inside Cherish love but fester inside Fearing themselves mis- Understanding their strengths Seeing beauty in others but in The mirror only shame Repeating the lies they were told Repeating the lies they were told Holding onto those words Anchoring them down, too far, Down and low hurting and Feeling so cold, numb Not recognizing they deserve All the love – they give so much And just as everything seems to …

From 9/11/14

When I was in fourth grade we had to choose a hero to write and draw about. I chose my Uncle Phil and Uncle Tommy, two New York City firefighters who were “humble, courageous, and taught kids fire safety”. I also drew a hilarious picture of them that made them look like Bert and Ernie. Lol!  I’ll never forget how much they both appreciated that tribute to them. I felt so much love from and for both of my uncles — and still do. Uncle Phil was truly an amazing man and inspiration for me, in fact he still inspires me from the other side During his life he chose to live life to the fullest. Family was number one on the priority list, and he was an exceptional dad without question. Some of my favorite memories with him are learning how to play soccer with him. Whenever I stepped on the field after September 11th I always felt his presence. Soccer was one of the places I could always just lose myself, just be, …

UTTERLY CHANGED

           , into the forest one way, come out another; changed – guided by sandled feet spirit led me to an opening a familiar clearing sacred space and so I walked/ran down the manmade path within this feminine body in a way utterly known.   at a point bugs whispering one ear to the next stooping, breathing, unshodding shoes leaving keys, and the green behind, barefoot I sauntered stepping hollowed ground.   my feet shooting into the Earth, rooted and lithe I AM HERE each moment moving deeper shedding my former self embracing this new ME within US.   hawks call and soar unseen presence witnessing transforming their screech rises inside me call-response my cells alight as my spirit soars.   following moss to see tall trees and pine visions from my dreams manifesting as the forest gives and takes blood for wisdom our connection runs deeper as my heart pulsates OUR CORE HEALING HOT.   guided by angels, guides, animals, spirit intuition balancing across fallen trees STAND STRONG supported by nature’s hewned walking sticks …

Being Sensitive

I used to *HATE* when people would call me “sensitive”, or better yet too sensitive. That just felt like the way I was and it always felt like something I couldn’t help but be. For a highly social and sociable kid I was already a writer and bookworm in elementary school. I was always feeling, always worried about the kids getting picked on in school, always watching or reading scenes on TV and in books — and then feeling them so deeply within me. On more than one occasion my mom would have to tell me “it’s just a movie,” … even to this day. And I learned to hate how I felt, in a way, I learned to be ashamed of how I perceived the world around me. And in a way I learned how to be “tough” aka wear a mask. It wasn’t until fairly recently that I realized what a beautiful gift it was to be sensitive and how truly brave it is to wear your heart on your sleeve. How amazingly …

True Story: I missed my last day of work

Yeah…it happened. When this SHOULD have been happening:   It’s so ironic because much of my life I’ve been quite sick (“in the head” – I can hear my mom saying that in my mind…she’s always saying shit in my head. Damnit!). Anyway, I missed my last day of work. I was stoked to resign, excited to take care of myself and my health, and of course in a hilarious very typical turn of events I ended up sick with a virus and viral vertigo. Even if I wanted to drag my sorry useless ass into work I couldn’t physically drive to get my weak little body to work.   #CLASSICALEX Plus, it rained all freakin’ week! Rain actually gives me headaches, no joke. I have my problems. Also, when I have vertigo things get extra weird. My brain is already highly unusual as is, but to make matters worse I get oddly fixated on certain things and some things really freak me out. A great example is the Snuggles teddy bear. One question: WHY? …

Easter reminders as yoga reaches out

Hello! If you didn’t know already, I am a practicing Catholic who is simultaneously open to all people with differing faiths (hooray!). If you’re unfamiliar with Catholicism you may not know what Lent is all about besides people “giving up” things like sweets or alcohol or even Facebook. I don’t typically share what I do for Lent but sometimes I focus on giving up certain things/thoughts and/or adding certain things/thoughts into my life. This past Lent involved a major life-shift for me personally. I practiced gratitude everyday and meditated more. I allowed myself to rest more and simply “be”. During my quiet moments I prayed to God and Jesus. And I felt confidence rising within me more and more each day. I let go of a secure job that was not fulfilling me and I am embarking on a new and exciting career in yoga, music, writing, and overall wellness which I hope to share with as many people as possible. I’d share more, and perhaps will another post, but this day isn’t really about …

Living with insomnia

Insomnia is the main reason why I haven’t been blogging. I’m sure there are a couple of other posts where I apologize to the internet for being MIA and make excuses – but this is REALLY legitimate. I’m serious. Have you ever not gotten enough sleep or pulled an all-nighter? How does your body feel after one day of that? Typically it’s not great. Now try averaging an hour of sleep for a week straight, driving to work, and accomplishing regular everyday tasks (this is super dangerous, when you think about it). Well, that is what my life has been like at times the past several months. When your brain does not get enough sleep, the body shuts down too. Life becomes this downward spiral and your mind tunnel visions everything – your perception of reality and life is more skewed than normal. Check out this Wedmd synopsis of insomnia if you so desire. My symptoms have varied from withdrawal, lack of appetite, depression, anxiety, headaches, dizziness, and generally feeling horrible! I have been humbled …